Squeaky Sneakers

Lord, help me look at my life today and discern what it is I’m looking for.

-          Amy Welborn

Another year has slipped through my fingers. With it, a host of precious memories I hope I remember forty years from now. Activities my kids were involved in, time spent with my husband, conversations I had with close friends. Little bits of time I don’t want to lose sight of. Yet, at the same time, January is one of my favorite times of the year. A new beginning, a fresh start, a line in the sand beyond which can be absolutely anything.

My kids are involved, quite heavily, in theater. I know this sounds odd, ranch kids driving almost an hour multiple times a week to participate in a theater troupe. While that seems a weird fit, I can’t deny what it has given to them; memorization, goal setting, and friends they had no way of getting to know before the theater came along. Again, precious memories. With a list as long as my arm containing the benefits of such participation, I also learned the lesson of sacrifice. My own time. Since April of last year, I’ve spend a goodly amount of time on the road for the rehearsals and performances of several different shows. After months of it, I formed a new way of life and method of doing things. Or, rather, not doing things. 

My house hasn’t been clean, I mean really clean, since last April. 

As part of my new year goals- not resolutions because those are easy to forget, lose sight of, and become unnecessary- I decided to make a cleaning schedule to get a handle on some of the tasks I’ve lost control of. Nothing major, a couple rooms a day, and by the end of the week my house has been gone through twice. Luckily, I don’t have a huge home, so it’s doable for me. You know what? I feel better about myself. I’m not worried one of the neighbors will stop by as I rush kids out the door. In fact, I hope they do. 

A few days after Christmas I was going through the pictures on my phone looking for screenshots of quotes I found to write down. I like to keep journals- lots of them. I like to write uplifting quotes I find, a log of activities my family is involved in, things the kids say, funny stories a friend told. I even go so far as to write Bible verses down and a prayer associated with them. I do feel an enormous amount of pity for the soul who has to go through my desk and office cabinet once I die. The task of sorting all those journals and notebooks will be taxing. 

In doing so, I stumbled on a photograph I took at our fall branding. In the photo was my daughter, Rosie, a close friend and photographer, Nicole Poyo Brennan, and dear friend and fellow ranch wife, Holly Black. The three of them were sitting horseback in a row, waiting for their turn in the branding trap to rope. They were focused on the action, all smiles and perhaps some laughter. Looking at that photograph, I realized I’d captured something special. Not in quotes, but in actual footage. Instead of words by Lou Holtz or Earl Nightingale, I could see my new year goal in action. All I hoped to become or display. 

These are women with a strong faith in God. A firm understanding of who they are, and what they are in pursuit of. They fully embrace the skills bestowed on them by God, and they work daily to become better at those gifts. It made me think of all the women in my life who are working and struggling to grow in faith and themselves. All of them going for whatever it is God has put in their soul to be. No hesitations. Just action. 

So, I’ve decided to go at this new year goal thing differently. I’m going to get up and go to work. I’ve got to stop waiting for chances to come to me, expecting to grow in my faith without any works, and stop living in a messy home. Instead of dreaming of being a good roper, I’ve actively been roping the dummy, because dang it, someday Rosie, Nicole, and Holly are gonna form a ranch rodeo team and I want to be on it! I don’t want there to be any pictures of it on my phone because I’ll be too busy roping to take any. But don’t worry, I’m sure I’ll write all about it in one of many plethora of journals. 

Already I can feel a change taking over me. In accepting my part in changing what needs changed in myself, I’ve let God have a chance to make His adjustments within me. I know, each time I swing a rope off my favorite mare, Donna, God is already squelching much of my apprehensions. A year ago I’d have been too worried to do it. Now I see a confident mare ready to assist me in whatever pursuit I choose that day.

The best part? You know that sound rubber makes on linoleum? That crunching, scrunching noise? The one that requires clean linoleum to make with rubber soled sneakers? Yeah, you can finally hear that in my house again. 

My love and prayers to you all. And may God have a hand in your new year goals as well.

Lyn